Autoimmune Disorder

Skin on my bones,

Breath in my lungs,

Senses intact,

And sores on my tongue.

Iron rising, 

Blood pressure falling,

Get up, lay down

As my world turns foggy.

Fatigue, oppressive;

Brain fog, daily;

Diet, controlled;

Eczema, scaly.

Here is my arm,

For the one thousandth prick

For another round of bloodwork 

That proves I’m not sick.

So, stop sleeping,

Stop eating,

Stop scratching,

Stop bleeding.

Spend everything, 

Try anything,

For answers, for relief. 

Paste on my arms,

Supplements I can’t pronounce,

Vinegar in my water,

Let’s try another route.

Why is this happening?

What did you eat?

Why are you tired all the time?

Why the defeat? 

Get up, go out,

Are you really sick again?

Be productive,

Call a friend.

But I’m so tired,

So forgetful

I have nothing to give,

And what can I eat besides a vegetable?

So I’ll stay in my bed, 

Read another health book,

Hire a new doctor,

To take another look. 

Empty promises collect dollars,

As fear gains fodder,

And I’m can’t separate the truth from the lies-

I just want to enjoy my life. 

So I’ll buy the promises,

Absorb the hope,

Until it all comes crashing down again-

My body rebelling,

Desperate for healing.
What I wouldn’t give,

For the truth. 

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